


Fever

by A_Hippo_Named_Saelym (Kairacahra1869)



Series: Do it for Josh, He deserves it [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Josh Appreciation Week (Detroit: Become Human), More Introspection, and josh has words to say, but i am also resentful so there is some minor shade being thrown, cause that's all I'm good at, josh centric, slightly salty, the rest of jericrew is here through observations, this is supposed to be about josh and his resentment, toned it down tho cause this is for josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 05:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18088658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairacahra1869/pseuds/A_Hippo_Named_Saelym
Summary: The role Josh plays is a crucial one, though perhaps unwanted. He takes it up anyway, because someone has to.Day 2 of Josh Appreciation Week: Resentment





	Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Gods do I love being bitter and conspiratorial. I feel like, with all that Josh could potentially have taught, he would toe the line of conspiracy as well.
> 
> I cannot believe I've gotten another day down. I mean, it helps that the first half is more negative emotions, and I can go on a field day with that, but I never expected to get this far. Which is sad because, again, this is only day 2.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy the second part of this (hopefully) 6-7 part series. Methinks I have a motif going on with the titles. *past self on back*

Josh feels old following around Markus, North, and Simon. He's been around for far too long to get caught up in the excitement of things. Yes, they've gotten more supplies, gained more support and members, but moments like these were precisely why someone needed to be paranoid and cautious. Like Icarus, they were flying much too close to the sun. It burned inside of Josh the fear of how easily and quickly all of this could fall apart. Had he been in charge, they would be doing things much slower.  
  
But that was the issue, wasn't it? He wasn't in charge. He didn't step up, couldn't step up, none of them were willing to take that mantle, not North with her insistence they do something, not Simon who disliked the inactivity as well and was here the longest of most of them. Lucy much preferred to act as the guide and healer, despite how she held them together stronger than any adhesive.  
  
Josh doesn't consider himself jealous, a little resentful perhaps, but nothing so petty and unnecessary as jealous. Markus came exactly when they needed him, very much like the rumoured ra9 was said to do for those who believed.  
  
Was Markus ra9? Logically, Josh knew the answer was no. There was no singular ra9. Much like the humans, probably ironically like them, androids have also taken to creating a deity to put all their worries, hopes, and anger on in an effort to feel less in control and simultaneously more in control of their situations. Why accept that things are the way they are when they can put the blame on an unfathomable and infinite deity? No one, human or androids, like having all these questions with no concrete answers, and a deity provides one enough to settle the unease.  
  
With that being said, something permeates throughout human religious and philosophical history is their ability to sort of... Believe in something so hard, that it does, in a sense, form an actual existence.   
  
So, who's to say that androids are incapable of doing the same thing? Hoping and pleading for someone to take up the mantle they themselves are to frightened to hold up and save them from this existence, until finally, the universe grants them their request, in the form of Markus?  
  
Regardless of whether or not he is an actual deity sent to save them, he certainly checks off a lot of requirements that androids were asking for their self created deity.  
  
And it shouldn't be a bad thing. Really, Josh is glad that something is happening. It's just the speed of it that has him on edge. And the ease of everyone just... Trusting this new Android and following his every whim. Call him paranoid, but he has years of teaching various historical classes and if there is one thing human history has taught him is mixing huge movements and religious manifestos are almost always guaranteed to end in bloodshed.  
  
Even if said religions are specifically tailored around peace and acceptance. Zealots and extremists form at every opportunity and they can, have, and will tarnish the whole with their aggressive actions.  
  
It's little moments like these that make Josh thankful that, thus far, Markus is showing to have a level head. However, it’s not even been a day, and already Simon and North are shunning him in favour of Markus. Not that their relationship had been the tightest, but he had thought there had been mutual respect, understanding, and loyalty between the three of them. Before Markus, each of them had a role to play and, tedious as it was, it definitely worked and got them this far.  
  
And now Josh feels as though his one role, the peacekeeper and level headed one, was usurped by a smooth-talking spoiled android.  
  
Josh tsks softly to himself. That wasn't fair of him, to place Markus in a box like that when the same could easily be done to any of them. But then Josh feels bitter at himself, pushing down negative thoughts of Markus for... What exactly? What has Markus done to warrant him revoking his own thoughts? Josh tells himself he's allowed to form his own opinions of the newcomer, as long as they're based on his observations and the situations and doesn't stray too far into unfair bias.  
  
Still, Josh refuses to let this action taking, soft-spoken android talk them into taking more unnecessary risks. None of them can afford it and if his punishment for assuring the safety of the androids under their care is through ostracisation, then so be it.

It’s some form of irony that, in a world that claims to value peace and dialogue over violence and hate, those who attempt to use soft and kind methods are seen as weak or a nuisance. And it is telling that peace is only readily accepted from handsome looking, easy talking individuals.

For someone who advocates violent retribution and resents being judged by looks, Josh wonders if North realises she has fallen into the same trap, allowing Markus to go so far against her ideals, just for how he physically presents himself.

And Simon, someone Josh considered to be the true neutral between North and himself, seems to have had a complete change in personality, following Markus around and seeking his approval like he hasn’t been keeping this place together up until this point.

Josh observes this, but without malice. He gets it, really he does, and he will be the first to admit that he’s only trying so hard to ignore the pull of Markus because it is so stupidly easy to trust the man. Regardless of where he came from or who he represents, he’s a natural at leadership and he has a way of just soothing the soul. Many great human leaders of the past wielded the same ability… but also many terrible dictators and cruel politicians have risen in ranks with the exact same power.

So Josh squashes down the feeling of hope, purposely keeps Markus at arm’s length, and hardens his thirium pumping heart against the increasingly disappointed and betrayed looks of North and Simon as Josh continues to play under his new role, to a point, as Devil’s Advocate.

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make things super, duper clear:
> 
> I'm not bashing anyone's theories on ra9. Josh's inner monologue, while something I believe strongly in, is mostly due to his extensive knowledge of how most religions and philosophies form. So, due to that, I guess you can say he's a bit agnostic? Doesn't truly believe in something, but believes in the power of other people's beliefs to not put it out of the picture entirely. Does that make sense?
> 
> Next, Josh is not bashing North or Simon, this is NOT a bash North or Simon series. Rather, Josh cares about his friends, that he worries about their rather drastic- to him- personality changes and this double downs his need to be wary of Markus. 
> 
> Finally, fandom angers me with how quick they are to call Josh a coward, weak, or say he acts ooc towards the end, with contempt. Like, no. My main man is doing his best, in his perspective, and people need to stop putting down characters who'd rather think, plan, and go slow in executing said thoughts and plans rather than go in guns blazing, improvising along the way. As someone who cannot do the latter without exploding in a ball of anxiety and panic, we need more people like Josh.
> 
> Thank you so much for the read. Come on down to the OG Josh server and join us in gushing about him https://discord.gg/7QVtz86


End file.
